Pets & Farts

Pets

Last night Sophie watched Beezus and Ramona.  At the end, their cat dies (spoiler alert!!)...

Sophie: I'm glad Hazel's not dead.

[Yeah...about that...]

Me: Me too. But she is very old, sweetie.

Sophie: I know. She'll probably die soon.

Me: She might, but she's had a really long, good life.

[a long pause which includes some dancing and then...]

Sophie: Mom, when she dies, can we get another pet to replace her?

Me: Well, we can't replace her, but we'll get another pet eventually.

Sophie: When?

Me: When mom's not so sad about Hazel anymore.

[Yes. I talk about myself in the 3rd person.]

Sophie: Well when we do, I want to get a hamster...or a puffer fish.

Me: A puffer fish?

Sophie: Well, maybe 2 puffer fish so they can play together.


Farts
Later, at bedtime, Ava refused to let me put her pajamas on.

Me: Ava, I'm getting angry...

[Okay. I say it a lot, but at least I warn her.]

Ava: NO!

Me: Yes, I am. Now get over here and let me put your jammies on.

Ava: NO!

[Finally, she gives in and I put her on the changing table.]

Ava: Mama...you getting angry?

Me: Well I was because you wouldn't cooperate.

Ava: (with a devilish smile) You not angry.

[She lifts her bare tush up, screws up her face and cracks a giant fart.]

Ava: Mama...you hear my toot?  That funny.

Of course, she's right.